Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I've got voice-mail

I have only one voice message on my phone. I don't know why I've never deleted it. Probably because it's so gawar that I can't help but smile every time I listen to it. The person who left it is highly educated, very articulate, speaks extremely well (oh my God .. his head is going to explode reading this!!!) ... and yet, you couldn't find someone who can put on (or most likely, naturally have :D) a more LS tone.

It's quite difficult to truly get the essence of the message in writing (I'll probably tape it and put it up sometime in the future), but here it is, word for shady word :)

Namaskar gupta ji ... kya haal hai aapka? hum __ se __ jaa rahe thhey aur bore ho rahey thhey, toh humney socha ki apne manoranjan ke liye aapko phone ghumaya jaaye. Sir yeh kya ... aapne Shankar Mahadevan ki tarah ek hee breath mein apna saara voice message de daala hai ... aaraam se ... thoda saa saans lein ... pataa chala ki heart attack ke maare buddhey chal base ... par anyways mujhe call kar dena ... meri awaaz aur style se toh pehchaan hee gaye hoge ki yeh tumhara manpasand Chandni Chownk vaala dost hai. Chalo bhai ... namashkar ... tata.

Seriously, what sort of friends do I have??


Some chick called into this show I was listening to on the radio while driving to work today morning, and this is the conversation that ensued:

Chick: Umm .. I've been with this guy for some time now, and things are going great. But I want to ask him ... where is this going?

RJ: Whoaa .. back up .. tell us about it.

Chick: Weeellll, we'be been out on 7 dates in the last 9 weeks. And he's a great guy. In fact, he didn't even kiss me on the first date ... till I let him.

RJ: That's being a gentleman. And how long have you known him?

Chick: Errr .. 9 weeks.

So I'm thinking ... what the hell is wrong with this woman? Nine weeks is just over 2 months. That hardly qualifies as "some time now"!!!! Why does it have to "go somewhere" in such a short time? Do all women think in this crazy way?

Apparently the RJ and I were on the same page.

RJ: That's not too long, is it? Why not give it time to develop? Have you guys had sex?

Chick: *nervous laugh* Yess .. hehhhehhh.

RJ: Well that's cool that's cool. When was that?

Chick: *matter of factly* On the first date.

RJ: *silence*

Me: WTF??

RJ: Aaah .. see, now that's something you didn't mention when you told us about him being a gentleman. Does this guy want to take things ahead?

Chick: That's what I don't know. I mean I know he likes me.

RJ: Sure sure. But you know what they say about buying the cow, right?

I cracked up!!

Monday, June 15, 2009

The Rubaiyat

Why ponder thus the future to foresee,
and jade thy brain to vain perplexity?
Cast off thy care, leave Allah's plans to Him-
He formed them all without consulting thee.

- Omar Khayyam

I've got mail

Text exchange with a friend (??) last night:

Him: Why haven't you updated your blog in ages? You know that's the only way I keep track of your life.

Me: Well, you could just call, you know.

Him: Yes, but then I would have to speak to you.