Monday, February 25, 2008

Maeedum, do the dosti ?

So here are the lines I will not be able to use during the lock and key party that I'm not going for:

Wait, what ? I can see ki tumhara interest ho gaya hai pique peak? pique! Toh before I go ahead and write those lines out, ye raha background (I seem to be in a highly Hinglish mood, pliss adjust) ...

The flatmate and I, along with a bunch of other losers cool singletons, decided to (or at least talked about) go(ing) for the "DESI SINGLES PADLOCK and KEY SINGLES PARTY & HIGH SOCIETY AFTERPARTY! - Its the ultimate Ice-Breaker!" ... (honest ... in caps no less (as in capital letters, not wearing caps! ... get real) ... you can't make this shizz up!). So just the title must have made it amply clear ki this was one major thing to be at - not only is the word singles used twice in the first sentence, but one must not miss the fact that the afterparty is the high society kinds. Totally be-there-or-be-square-variety. *airkisses everyone - twice*

But before I go on, I shall spill the names of all those who were enthu about the event. Share the laughter, I always say!

- The flatmate
- Canucki
- Rintintin (not to be confused with Tintin)
- Shilpa and Shamita's sister - Captain Nimmo.

Now everyone must be wondering what in the world is this event all about. Copying straight from the event website:

* Ladies get a Padlock / Guys get a Key
* Your goal is to match the right lock with the right key
* Get a match to win a raffle for the prize draw!
* Get a new padlock or key or stick with the lucky one that you have and go back to meet even more people!
* Find someone you like, stay and talk for a bit! Exchange contact info if you like
* Throughout your quest you'll meet upto 50, 100 or more people of the opposite sex

Needless to say, I we had been thinking of the various lines/techniques to be used on the ladies who would arrive. Here they are (in case you ever go to one of these things ... eyerolling band karo ... you never know!)

- "Medam can i fit my key in your lock?" (generously contributed by Half-O)
- "Hello I want to push and turn" - high chances of getting slapped.
- I have a small lantern and an auto type bhopu. I was supposed to light a diya in the lantern, walk around like one of those old chowkidaars, and maaro two horns in case I found someone I fancied. The credit for this idea goes entirely to the flatmate.
- Find a locksmith, or a master key. Go nuts. If you decide to use this one, send royalties to Rintintin.
- "Is it rusty?" - I would not have used this. Maybe.
- "The key is the only thing that's small" - I would have used this. Ahemm.
- "Your place or mine ? I already got the key" - yes, highly cheesy. I will not tell you who came up with it. *Cough-Canucki-Cough*

The only decent idea (also suggested by Half-O) was - find someone you like, ask her to throw the lock away and you'd do the same with the key, and the two of you take off.

And the reason that all this fun will not be had is because ... *drumroll* ...


Oh well, at least I'm prepared for next time!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Just a little pinch

But what happened to your …

He smiled. Smiled. I did not blink.

I looked up at the clock. 10 pm. My eyes traveled to the door. In he walked. From the very first day those many months back, he always came in at precisely 10 pm, the time when the place would be at its boisterous best. I had been working there for over thirteen years, and knew how to spot the one-timers from the regulars. I knew he would be the latter ... there was something in the way he sat down at the bar and ordered himself five shots of tequila, which he then proceeded to sip. Slowly. Night after night.

It was some weeks before we got talking. Which had everything to do with the silence with which he surrounded himself, and of course, that. I don't recall what it was that he said, but it was him - he let me in. I told him about my work, my family, and my sons. He would listen, but rarely looked up from his drinks. I gradually learnt of his time in Mexico, those years that taught him to be a patient man. And he sipped his tequila. Slowly.

And after many months, I finally asked.

But what happened to your …

I was never told the circumstances by which he got there. Just that it was where he landed up. The how didn't seem important anymore. But it was him. And them. And slowly, but steadily, he had weakened. Until the time he could fight them off no longer.

He paused to draw his breath. That half-raspy sound did not make me shudder any more.

And he told me how, over the course of those months, before he was finally rescued, had the rats in that jail slowly eaten half his face.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Looking back

Could I have been wrong ?

I have asked myself this question every single day of my life, starting from that day in October. Have I found a satisfactory answer ? No. And Yes. I always thought that the clarity of my reasoning for doing what I did would be cause enough to make me believe that I made the right decision. A decision which was by no means an easy one to make ... it took years of resentment, months of meticulous planning, and that second of rage.

Rage ? Resentment ?

Was he following the wrong path ? I would like to think so, but try as I might to convince myself, doubt still lingers. Was what we did not enough ? Perhaps it would have been, given more time. There were others, I know now. But I was the one who was destined to do it.

Destiny. Or was it a desire for fame ? I have no doubt that I have made myself famous by forever being thought about every time he is. But will they ever know everything else I did, or will this one act be what my name is associated with for ages to come ? As the sun begins to set on another day, and I wait, wait for that moment when I meet my maker, I cannot help but wonder if this is to be my legacy ?

Life. Precious. Fleeting. Taken.

Perhaps I was wrong.

Do I feel remorse ? Would I do it again if I had the chance ?

Perhaps I wasn't.

- Nathuram Godse

Thursday, February 7, 2008

An open letter

Dear God,

Seriously dude ... give it a rest. It's high time you stopped fucking around with the people I love.